View all Art in Issue B

BEGUILE

I think about you every minute without doubt,
I hate myself for how this has turned out.

My confidant, my best friend, my loyal partner till the end.

I made the end,
I forced it,
I pushed it out,
I lost it.

You did nothing but try and show me
How much you cared,
How much you loved me.
I'm sorry for my actions,
I'm sorry for our fate.
I know all you tried to do was keep me safe from myself.

Your charm I felt belittled me,
It made me feel so small.

I tried to compete, to feel complete.

The only person I tricked was me,
For only my eyes see what I see.
A forced darkness is my blindfold,
That way there's no shame to see,
No fighting to be free.
Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour.

I foolishly got used to you being around, I did nothing but blame you for bringing me down. My own stupid let down.

I felt like I needed to prove to myself, I could do it alone and I wasn't a lie on my own.

But go on and take it,
Take it all.
Don't look back at this crumbling fool,
A fool who lost you at her own game.

One trick, one charm to many,
Is this magic box I mistakably confused for being LOVE...

You were it, I never needed the box, the rabbit, the hat, any of it...as you were the lot.

I'm sorry for not being able to see outside the box.

PHOTOGRAPHY & POEM / Samara Morris at FMG
ILLUSTRATION / Emma Durnell
STYLING / Tena Strok
MAKE-UP / Sarina
MODEL / Anja Barker at Storm